You know, I went through a period, from about November 2007 to April 2008, where I worked furiously on demos. With the help of my keyboardist, I learned from the ground up how to record on a computer. I mean, I knew the process...the theory....but had no hands on practice at doing it all by myself. So I bought some gear, stole some programs, and got to work. Five days a week, all day long. Next thing I know I've got 16 demos for our next record. Complete demos. In my eyes (and ears) some really unbelievable shit. Compared to our earlier demos for our last 2 records, these to me are light years ahead. Of course, there's no vocals on anything....
I should mention that during this time, my singer was a fucking chemical wreck. I had (and have) been sober since the winter of 2007, but he just hadn't figured it out yet. Finally, a little over 4 months ago, he decided he had had enough, went to treatment in California, and has been there since. Sober. Safe. Thank god.
I bring it up, because I have not recorded almost anything new in probably 3 months. A bit here and there, but not the creative downpour I had last fall. Maybe it's writer's block. Maybe it's that it's taking awhile to get settled...I just moved into a house with the love of my life and finally have a "real", dedicated studio to work in. Maybe it because I'm happy (?!?!)...I've heard it said that the worst thing for an artist is happiness...although I think that's just a bunch of bullshit and I'll continue to strive and prove that wrong...
But I think it's moreso that I have this nagging "Maybe-it's-all-for-naught" thought. Like, why keep huffing along when he might not be "feelin' it"?; as he was wont to utter while in the throes of heroin...then again you can barely feel getting hit in the face with a baseball bat when you're nodding out, so I should really take that sentiment with a grain of salt. Or, what if he falls back to the "darkside" again (yeah, I know...it's a douchebag word, especially when used in this particularly VH1-ish context...just deal with it) ? I know that I DO NOT have it in me to wait for that motherfucker again if he decides he needs to go do more research for another year...as much as I love him, I've got music to make and shit to do. I stopped waiting for myself, and I've stopped waiting for other people. Of the last 12 months, 8 of them were spent having no idea where my singer was, or if he was even alive. No one will ever truly know (well, almost no one) how extremely close I was to closing down the shop. Real. Real. Fucking. Close.
So as every day passes, and we get further away from what the public perceives as "us", I'm excited and scared at the same time. When you take away the needles, and the trauma, and the craziness, and all the hype bullshit, what's left?
Oh yeah...kick ass tunes.
No more tanks. No more death squads. No more needles. No more 333's. No more clowns. No more pills. No more skulls. The past? Got it...Check...I'm moving forward, yes? Here's to joining me.
To the land of 0's and 1's I go...and in deference to this post, I gotta a great new song taking shape.
5 comments:
i'm excited and curious to hear what comes out in your music now that you have a brighter outlook on life and sobriety. good luck brotha
I’m wishing the best for you and your singer in your personal lives and if another album happens to fall in place I’m sure it will be and has always been a product of the creative bad asses you are and not just "chemical" backing. Good luck
glad to hear cameron's found his way, and psyched beyond the boundaries of perception to see what sort of aural anarchy spews forth from all this change.
when the road beckons again, expect to see me there.
i still tell the juicer story to this day.
peace unto you.
ps. :O Dude! Whatta... i should read more before commenting. Huh!
Luckily things have gone way better! and still are better! more! better!
And its very nice to read that you and "the singer dude" have been sober! and that you have made that much of work with music n stuff! :)
awesome.
pps. if you listen our ex-band in myspace (sayana) i have to say that we are like so unprofessionals with the recordings. :D we recorded all the song except "greed" in my block of flats, with old peavey mixer, crappy behringer v-amp multifx pedal and a fuc*ing ibanez GIO. (money? whats that?) :D but... nonetheless. It went pretty well, though? The drums are made with EzDrummer. Its awesome program. Try to check it out?
its a VST-Plugin... we used Cubase as the main program.
Jadajadajada... i could talk to my self for hours and think that you maybe read these sometimes? ;P
Maybe you do?
Cya!
t: The finnish guy
With all due respect, you're a musician and you spent $3,000 on a fucking couch but you won't pay for the equipment (software) necessary to create your music? Coding music software is neither lucrative or glamorous. If you're just dicking around, whatever, but you're somewhat of a professional. How do you justify stealing the finished product of hard working, passionate individuals?
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