Well, after over 2 years of silent rotting and festering (alright, it wasn't quite that bad), the offending tooth was scraped out of my mouf (sic) this afternoon. It didn't take all that long; I was out of there in less than an hour. The best part? The gas. The worst part? Eventually Dr. Annette was finished and turned off the gas.I gotta tell ya...if you're ever in a similar dental situation...spring for the gas. You can thank me later for imparting that little nugget of hard-earned wisdom on you.
It was, however, very interesting, and quite honestly enjoyable, to be "chemically" altered like that after such a long period of mental clarity. Of course, I realize it wasn't a "neccessity", per say. Despite my somewhat daunting presence, certain kinds of pain turn me into a big fucking baby. But I'm sure I could have toughed it out. So why didn't I?
Because a medical freebie, for this sober guy, is a win/win. There are hardcore sober Nazis out there who won't even take Benedryl, much less accept an "easier, softer way" regarding office surgery. But as much as I love the uniforms, I ain't that Nazi. Will the gas turn this pain-in-the-ass ride into a much more pleasant one? Yes? Well fire it up, doc. It's 2008, not 1908, and I'm into utilizing the tools science has created for just such occasions. If I wasn't in such a great all around mental state, I could see it possibly being an issue. I mean, if I was using ballpeen hammer to fuck up my grill solely because I wanted nitrous oxide and pain killers, that would be a problem. But things are remakably great (which I've come to believe is the byproduct of dropping out of almost all local social circles; to me, having more than five people to be accountable to is just a fucking headache...but more on that another time), and I'm pretty damn certain that there was no subconscious mischief going on. The Vicodin I was given did just what I thought they would. Nothing. It got rid of the pain, but my prior opiate abuse coupled with my size means I would have to take 8 of 'em to feel anything remotely close to what a "normal" person would consider "high". And I don't know about you, but my liver can't handle 4000 milligrams of Tylenol all at once anymore.
So right now, I've got a small piece of neon green sponge tucked into the hole so I can smoke and (hopefully) not get dry socket. I hear that shit hurts somethin' awful. And you know me...
From the book "The Truth About Chuck Norris" by Ian Spector:
"Chuck Norris never loses at rock-paper-scissors because he never plays rock-paper-scissors. He plays rock-paper-scissors-roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris never loses at rock-paper-scissors-roundhouse kick."
2 comments:
I just have to say the hole in between your teeth looks wicked. Are you going to fill it with something eventually or go au natural?
I've never had nitrous, however, when I had my wisdom teeth removed they did this nifty thing they call "twilighting".
That is just the word they use for sticking a needle in your arm and injecting you with a medicine that puts you completely out. I remember him saying it would feel cold, and the next thing I remember was waking up in recovery.
Now that is how I like my extractions.
My husband said he made the mistake of foregoing any such medication when he had a root canal because of his fear of them sticking a needle in him. Needless to say, he never made that mistake again.
The sounds he described that came from his mouth when the doctor began twisting those nerve ripping mouth screws was enough to make me vomit. Not to mention the excruciating pain.
Yeah, I will pass on that one.
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